Hata no Kokoro's Smiling Adventure: Renaissance Edition
by prettyhearse
Summary: Wanting to learn the secret behind expressing emotion, Kokoro goes on an adventure through Gensokyo with her newly-found best friend, Koishi, to discover if she can ever be truly independent of her masks. A story of self-discovery, love, loss and truly cringe-worthy knock-knock jokes. (A rewriting of my original Kokoro fic from 2013)


**(A/N:)** _Alright so. Basically, this is a series I started writing mid-2013 and stopped, but didn't finish around? Late 2014. In celebration of its 3 year anniversary, and because I need to fill up word count for NaNoWriMo, I've decided to rewrite it! I deleted the original whilst cleaning up my account after drastically improving on my writing. 13 year old me had good ideas, but an unrefined style and poor execution. So here's 16 year old me, rewriting those ideas with a (hopefully) better style and more mature take on things. The plot will mainly remain the same. Hopefully, my newer style and ideas will be okay for those of you who read the original. Enjoy! Updates should be fast enough seeing as I've got 14 chapters on hand and rewriting doesn't take too long._

* * *

Kokoro isn't used to this whole 'best friends' thing.

In fact, before now, she didn't have a _friend_ , let alone a best one. She isn't even sure _why_ she agreed to be friends with this unusual youkai in the first place. After all, she's the one who caused that whole 'Hopeless Masquerade' Incident by stealing Kokoro's mask of hope and refusing to give it back.

But Kokoro isn't one for holding grudges and as she lays in the grass with her new "best friend", she can't help but fondly remember the day their little friendship started.

She remembers Koishi shyly tapping her on the shoulder as she stood on the outskirts of the Human Village, watching the humans bustle around with curiosity. It was a very different Koishi than she remembered fighting; a more quiet, less aggressive, meek Koishi, and she was glad. She did enough fighting over the last week than she'd done in her lifetime and she certainly wasn't in the mood for more.

"My sister said I should give this back to you," Koishi said to her quietly, head bowed so low Kokoro could barely see her face under the brim of her hat. She held out a mask to Kokoro.

One of _Kokoro's_ masks.

The Mask of Hope.

"Oh." Kokoro quickly switched her masks, covering her blank face with her Raiden mask to show she was surprised, but Koishi didn't seem to notice. She almost forgot about her mask being stolen since Miko made her a new one and after Koishi was so adamant on keeping it, she gave up hope on ever seeing it again. Literally.

But there it was, right in front of her, being presented to her by the very youkai that stole it.

"Thank you," she said, voice flat as always. "But… I have a new one. You can keep it."

Koishi looked up at her then, a huge grin on her face and her eyes shining with joy. At the time, Kokoro was taken aback by the sheer happiness Koishi displayed at just being given an old mask, but now she knows that happiness is just Koishi's default, like passiveness is hers.

"Really?!" Koishi said to her, clasping her hands to her chest. Kokoro just nodded and handed the mask back to her, not thinking much of it. What use did an old mask have to a satori anyway?

"Thank you so much, Miss Kokoro!" Koishi exclaimed, taking the mask back and tucking it under her arm protectively. "I thought you'd be really mad at me, especially after you beat me up last week! Does this mean we're… we're _friends_ now?"

Kokoro just nodded again, very slowly this time. She really wasn't sure; she still isn't, but Koishi seemed to decide for them. She dropped the mask and threw herself at Kokoro, hugging her tightly.

Kokoro didn't have a mask for the slew of emotions that made her feel.

"Oh, I'm so glad we're friends! I really thought you hated me after all that and I've been so lonely since the humans got bored of us all fighting. What should we do first? Make friendships bracelets? And then we gotta tell everyone too! Miss Byakuren will be so happy… and Satori too! Oh, and…"

Kokoro let her ramble, still not sure which of her masks to display. She was in a total daze, but in a good way. She let Koishi take her hand and walk her away from the village and into the forest, continuing her ramble about all the things they had to do as friends. She can't remember why she followed her, but she did, and she's glad. It definitely made transitioning into her new life here in Gensokyo a lot easier.

"Wakey wakey, Kokoro!" Koishi suddenly calls, interrupting her thoughts. "It's only midday."

Kokoro opens her eyes and squints, using her arm to block out the sun as she sits up. "Oh, I wasn't asleep, Koishi. I was just… thinking."

"Thinking? About what?" Koishi asks as she scoots over beside her.

"It's nothing really. Just what's been happening over the past few weeks. What have you been doing?"

"Making daisy chains," Koishi says, proudly holding up the end of a string of daisies that's piled in her lap. "I made you something too. You don't have any ribbons or a hat so I made you this! It's called a flower crown."

Koishi picks up a much smaller ring of daisies from the ground beside her and places it on Kokoro's head, sitting back to admire her work with a smile.

"Thank you." Kokoro reaches up to straighten the flower crown on her head and runs her fingers through the ends of her long, lavender hair. Koishi reaches out again, gently taking a fistful of Kokoro's hair and running her thumb over it with a wistful sigh.

"Your hair is so pretty," she says in her usual dreamy voice, mindlessly starting to braid the lock of hair. "How long have you been growing it? I've been trying to grow mine out for _ages_ but it takes too long to grow and Satori always makes me get it cut. My other best friend, Flandre, she has long hair too but it's not as long as yours. I should really introduce you two! I think you'd really like her."

Kokoro just nods, though she makes sure Koishi can see she's donned her Hyottoko mask of cheerfulness. Thankfully, Koishi is one of the few who doesn't assume she's uninterested in everything she has to say. It's hard to express your interest in something when you can't express _anything_. That's one of the reasons Kokoro was glad they started their strange little friendship. Koishi never took it personally when she just nodded during her little rambles, which was rare for anyone else to do.

It bothers Kokoro though. At least when she was just a pile of masks, nobody expected her to smile or laugh. But now with her new form, she feels as though it's something she should be able to do. It's not that she's emotionless or doesn't feel anything; it's just that she can't express what she feels. That's what frustrates her the most. The emotions are there, she just can't show them. Koishi, on the other hand, apparently doesn't have any emotions since closing her third eye, yet she's 100 times more expressive than Kokoro could ever hope to be. She can't help but feel a bit sad about it.

"Hey, Kokoro," Koishi calls, pulling her out of her thoughts once again. "You zoned out again, silly."

"Sorry about that. I was just thinking about... uh..." Kokoro trails off as she notices Koishi staring at her, concern painted across her face. "Is something the matter?"

"Why are you wearing your sad face mask?"

Confused, Kokoro grabs the mask currently floating in front of her and turns it around, internally sighing as the face of her Uba mask greets her. Since losing her mask of hope and getting a new one, her masks had a mind of their own. Usually, she'd be the one to change them, but now they change automatically with whatever emotion she feels. It makes her seem a lot more open than she actually is.

"I'm… not sure," Kokoro mumbles as she changes her mask back to her Hyottoko mask. "My masks have been acting strange lately."

"Are you sure you aren't feeling sad though?" Koishi asks, gently taking her hand. "We're besties now, Kokoro! You can tell me anything."

Kokoro stares at the grass for a moment.

"It's nothing, really. I was just thinking about… about how I can't express myself without my masks. I know I've said it before, but it makes me a bit sad. It's just… how do you do it?"

"Do what? And don't say 'it's nothing', Kokoro! You've been sad about this for weeks now, it's obviously _something_ then, right?"

Kokoro looks up at her and dons her monkey mask. "I suppose so but... Well… you're truly emotionless, aren't you? But you can still laugh and smile and show how you feel. How do you do it?"

Koishi takes off her hat and scratches her head, biting her lip. "I don't really know. For a while, I couldn't, but then one day, poof! They just came back! I can't really remember how it happened but I was able to smile and laugh again. I don't know how to control them though. They just come and go and I don't even notice it. Do you wanna get rid of your masks or something?"

"I'm not sure yet. I don't think I can. If anything, I just want to be able to smile, at least. I'd be happy if someone could teach me that."

"Hmm," Koishi stares at her and frowns. "Let me try something." Reaching over, Koishi pushes her monkey mask aside and places her index fingers on the corners of Kokoro's mouth, lifting them up into a strained smile. "There!"

But the smile disappears the second she takes her fingers away.

"Nevermind…" Koishi pouts. "Maybe if you found something that made you really, really, really super happy or something really hilarious, then you'd smile or laugh instead of using your masks. It would have to be something really good though… Hmm, do you know any good comedians? You're into theatre, right?"

"Kagura isn't exactly comedy, Koishi. Even the kyogen in Noh has never been enough to make me actually laugh," Kokoro says. "But you could be onto something."

"Well, I do have a lot of great ideas," Koishi says, smiling proudly. "Seeing as we're gonna visit her anyways, we could always ask Flandre. She knows _tons_ of really funny jokes. If she can't make ya laugh, no one can!"

"Where does she live?"

"The Scarlet Devil Mansion! It's beside Misty Lake," Koishi stands up and holds her hand out to Kokoro. "You know the Scarlet Devil Mansion, right?"

Kokoro shakes her head as she takes Koishi's hand and is pulled to her feet. "I've heard some humans talking about it, but I've never been there before."

"Well, I guess we're killing two birds with one stone then!" Koishi exclaims happily. "Let's go."

Kokoro lets Koishi take her hand and lead her out of the meadow. She isn't sure this is going to work, but it means a lot that Koishi cares enough about her to try and help her. Even though she's skeptical, it's definitely worth trying.


End file.
